I chickened out. And I’ve been afraid to even admit it, so I stayed away from this blog all week.

The truth is, my life is so up and down — such a freaky roller-coaster ride — that sometimes I get consumed with pure survival issues. Putting food on the table, keeping the lights on. That kind of thing.

It’s been that kind of week. The good news is, it’s over, and things will be MUCH better next week.

But that’s an excuse, and that’s the truth. I let my stress give me a free pass from starting my program this week. I made that choice.

And if I keep making those choices, I’m not going to reinvent anything.

So, I’m taking this weekend to get myself straightened out. I’m going to clean the house as much as possible — scrubbing, Pine-Sol, bleach in the sinks kind of cleaning. Physical labor as meditation. And while I’m doing that, I’m going to seriously question my priorities.

Is this something I really, really, really want to do? Or am I doing it because I think I should?

Is my motivation pure?

Is my approach sound? Maybe I do need to rethink that whole “everything at once” approach.